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General safety advice > General safety advice > Why and what to tell your friends

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How and what to tell family, friends and colleagues

A stalker will not only stalk you but on average they stalk 32 people around a victim. The stalker will follow friends and family social networks, they may contact them (often pretending to be someone else) to try to get information about a victim or to spread rumours.

Why do you need to tell others?

  • If your friends, family or work colleagues do not know about your stalker or do not understand the seriousness of the situation, they could provide the stalker with information used to hurt you.
  • If they know you are being stalked they are more likely to notice something suspicious e.g. a neighbour may notice someone watching your house.
  • They can help you gather evidence
  • They can give evidence if a case goes to court. They can testify not only about specific incidents but the effect that it has had on you. This could help improve chances of prosecution.
  • They can help change the work environment or the ways you socialise to increase your security and avoid contact with your abuser
  • The support they offer will help you deal with your situation.

 What do you tell them?

  • You don’t have to go into details about your relationship with your stalker or what has happened. Make clear statements:
    • There is a person who is obsessed with you
    • They have been told to stop contacting you but they have refused
    • It has been reported to the police
    • The situation is making you feel very unsafe
    • Tell them not to approach or contact the stalker
    • Give them the name and a description or picture of your stalker.
    • If know any alias, email, phone numbers or profiles or license plate numbers then provide those as well

 What can they do to help?

  • If the stalker contacts them ask them to save any evidence such as text or emails.
  • If they suspect stalker has called or calls them ask them to note the date and time. Also to write a brief description of conversation.
  • If they suspect they are talking to should immediately hang up. But they should inform you and make a note of the date and time.
  • If the witness anything suspicious ask them to contact you.

Last updated on May 30, 2013 by Jennifer Perry